While researching for my presidential run I came across ‘Politics1’ website. And after reviewing their listing of American political parties and their respective candidates for ‘Election 08’ http://www.politics1.com/parties.htm I of course noticed no mention of my Youth International Party. So I emailed the publisher, Ron Gunzburger publisher@mail.politics1.com, with my request to include the YIP in his listing descriptions and to also note, same as the others, that I’d be their candidate for president.
   Here is his response:
"There has been no YIP candidate for any office since a few write-in candidates in 1966-70. The entity has been dead since then. To form a new federal party, contact the FEC at www.fec.gov ... and you'll also have to secure ballot access by the law in each of the 50 states ($5,000)."
  Well Ron had no way of knowing of course that I’d already been to the FEC, but I’ll get to commenting on that momentarily. But first I’d like to say a few words to Ron and about his website. His listing of the various parties include some illustrious notables such as the American Patriot Party, whose dogma hearkens of ye ole` Sons of the Revolution’ era and who’s hero is of course the modest ‘Braveheart’ George Washington. This party is listed in the Other Parties category.
   Contrast that with the listing in Third Parties of the American Nazi Party, who are the representatives of outright terrorist mass murderers to include members of my own relatives on both sides, German and Polish. Who’s creed is the very definition of ‘crimes against humanity’ and treason, and who’s claim to heroic fame is a piss`ant megalomaniac.
   Now Ron, maybe you need to check up on the last names of those who started and were closely involved with YIP. And probably reconsider adding Youth International Party under Third Parties, lest people come to think of you as an anti-Semite who’d prefer Hitler’s framed picture on the dollar bill. And Ron, don’t you even think of taking this opportunity to miss-characterize the Youth International Party as anarchists running amok in drug induced orgies, thereby slandering the good name and memory of it’s founders. For if you do, in due course, I will personally hunt you down and kick you to hell with my foot so far up your ass you’ll be quenching your thirst there from the sweat off my knee.
   And do you want to know why? ... Because I'm A Fucking Jerk-Off!  That's Why    - Verstehen Sie Mich!
  
     Now about the FEC, I have reviewed some of their registration procedures and of special note their campaign finance assistance. It is abundantly clear to me that what they have in mind is to influence one running for political office to join them in robbing all you Peters if I become one of their Pauls in the federal ‘matching funds’ program which they will do for me, if I pay them their startup fee to get on the ballot.
   Well I say what this ‘get on the ballot’ really only means is that if I want to have my name conveniently placed in the face of a voter in those booths, where they flip a switch next to their choice and pull a lever, and I’m supposed to believe I’d have little chance otherwise. But the real truth is, any voter for any office whatsoever can ask for a paper ‘write in’ ballot and inscribe Mickey Mouse’s name on it if they so chose.
   So this is what I propose to pay the FEC – Zilch, Nada, Bubkis, not one died-Red cent. And I won’t be asking for ‘dollar one’ in donations from anybody for my campaign. So I don’t need to report shit to you dickheads. I got a lever for you to crank on - right here. I insist that you don’t place me on those machines, which I know for a fact are a backdoor monkey-rigged cheat from the git-go. You can just enlist a cluster-fuck of your minion Sesame St Count Draculas, rent a whole floor at Motel 666, start licking your fingers and thumb through millions upon millions upon millions of write in ballots till you suck your own faces dry. And when your done counting, I’m having my lawyers find a ‘hanging chad’ pretext to call for a recount so’s you'll have to re enlist another gaggle of AFLAC AFLAC thumb-lickers and do it all over again.
         And do you want to know why?
                         Because I'm A Fucking Jerk-Off! ......   That's Why
    And when that count doesn’t match up, if even by a few, you’ll be counting them again. And it doesn’t matter if, regardless of the few differences, the math wouldn’t give me a chance anyway. As you have publicly ‘Rock the Vote’ promoted; every voter has the right to have his or her vote counted. Isn’t that right, Hillary Rodham?
     
      Furthermore at the FEC web site there is, paid for by our tax dollars, a public records request initiative -
http://www.fec.gov/ans/answers_disclosure.shtml#historicaldata Historical data is available from the FEC's Public Records Office …by e-mail pubrec@fec.gov. –
   So is as my right I made such a request regarding the records of YIP. Here is the response I received from their ‘Public Information Specialist’ a Vicktoria Allen: "I have searched our database back to 1978 and was unable to find a committee identification number for "Youth International Party". If you could supply me with more information to research this matter, it would be greatly appreciated."
   Well here is the requested information right fucking here Miss Allen http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yippie  – Cunt!
   Apparently both Mr. Gunzburger and Miss Allen would much prefer I be discouraged and forget about the whole deal. Well not happening! They must think I’m some mere putz who can’t distinguish his ass from their camouflaged whole they’ve dug for themselves. You see I know darn well that once a political party has been registered there is no mechanism in place that removes it. YIP may have been unmanned since the late 60s but the Party’ apparatus still exists and that includes it’s bank account, referred to euphemistically by us politicos as the ‘War Chest’. Even with just a little bit of money left behind, it has had over 40 years ‘exponential compounding’ of interest making this ‘war chest’s’ value the equivalent of the gross national product of some nations. Oh-Yeah! IZ. And our government ain’t to keen on having me make them match whatever I spend of it campaigning for my political run for the presidency. But don’t you bureaucrats worry. I wouldn’t dream of dumping a truckload of bricks on top of your already debilitating upside down pyramid PONZIed SCHEMEatic you’ve been passing off on the public as legitimate economics. But I will tell you just how I’ll spend this money on my campaign.
   I’m going to have designer created, camouflage patterned, lifeguard short shorts and matching tube tops with my Yippie! logo emblazoned in NYC taxicab yellow at the googlE eyed parts. And then hire me every hot model in NY… no strike that… every hot model on the face of the planet, to come here to Manhattan to wear these garments. And cover them as well from head to toe in those multicolored bright neon blinking diode lights, strutting this island catwalk in a density of near arms-length at all points of the compass, illuminating up this rock like Kryptonite so’s even Google Earth will show this spot as a fiery black opal.
              And do you want to know why!      Everybody tell them why…

   An idiot savant can perform incredible feats of calculation, but he couldn’t even begin to explain the price of a bannana.
Riddle me this; Whats the price of the Banana?

Knee the catcher in the groin and nock the umpire on his ass while your at it…
Home Fucking Run!

Dictionary
Icky: of or pertaining to the qualities of being ick.
Ick: offensive to the senses or sensibilities, revolting, repulsive or distasteful.
Riddle me this;
                              If I perform ridding of ick forcefully, Who Am I?